


Lake Dating

by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Skinny Dipping, Smut, Summer Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 07:01:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19785655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaXbenson/pseuds/barbaXcarisi
Summary: “You’d really do this? Spend three days in a house with my college friends pretending to be my...my…”“Significant other?” Rafael supplied since Carisi seemed to be struggling. The detective only nodded. Rafael shrugged, like it was no big deal even though his heart was thumping wildly in his chest. “Sure, why not?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So a long time ago (like over a year) someone suggested that I do a fake dating fic because it was a trope I hadn't written before and this idea was born. And finally here it is. 
> 
> As always, a special thanks goes out to Power-Bottom-Barba. Not only did he hold my hand and encourage me through this entire thing, but he also lent his talents and wrote a smut scene for y'all. (Seriously, thank him because I wasn't even going to have smut in this fic, but he came through for you guys.)
> 
> *There's a bit of a suspension of disbelief needed and the boys (especially Rafael) are a bit out of character, but both were necessary given the genre. I hope you all enjoy!

In what was a completely rare occasion, Rafael felt like whistling as he made his way from Olivia’s office. They’d been handed the gift of an especially moronic perp in their latest case and it seemed as if this one would be a slam dunk. 

A loud clatter, followed by a groan of frustration, echoed from the break room as he walked past. Apparently the person inside didn’t share his elevated mood. Normally he would ignore it, never one to open himself up to the problems of others, but curiosity got the best of him and he peeked into the room. 

Carisi sat at the table his phone in front of him—Rafael assumed the clatter he’d heard was the phone being dropped to the table’s surface—and his head in his hands. 

“Problem, Carisi?” 

Carisi jumped a little, looking up at Rafael standing in the doorway. “Oh, uh, nothing important.” 

Rafael shrugged. He wasn’t going to work to pull whatever it was out of the detective. “Okay.” 

“Well, actually,” Sonny said when Barba started to leave and Rafael paused. “It’s just that my college friends and I rent a lake house for a weekend every summer. You know, just a way for us to keep in touch and catch up with one another since life keeps us all pretty busy. And now Logan is dating someone..” 

“And…” Rafael prompted, still not seeing the problem. 

“Logan, the never-settling-down-even-if-you-paid-me serial dater, is in a serious relationship. Leaving me as the only one in the group who doesn’t have someone. I get enough grief from all of them as it is, but now even Logan has committed? I’m just not looking forward to being the 7th wheel.” 

“That’s an interesting vehicle,” Rafael commented and earned a small smile from Carisi. 

“I was even desperate enough to reach out to a couple of people to see if they’d go with me,” he gestured toward his phone on the table. “Pretend to be a couple just for a few days to make the trip more bearable. How pathetic is that?” 

For once Rafael took the road of “if you can’t say anything nice…” and kept his mouth shut.

His silence said it all and Sonny groaned again. “Apparently really freakin’ pathetic. It’s just hard, you know? Being the only single person in a big group. Plus I get shit for it like, the entire time. At least before I had Logan to take some of the heat, but now it will just be me and—“ 

“I’ll do it,” Rafael offered before he even realized the words were leaving his mouth. What the hell? The easy case hadn’t put him in  _ that  _ good of a mood. 

“What?” Sonny seemed as astonished by it as Rafael was. 

This was his chance to back out, to tell him he’d been joking, but he found that he didn’t want to. “You do date men, do you not?”

“Yes, but—I guess I’m just surprised, that’s all.” 

“What? That I date men as well?” Sonny gave him a “give me a break” look and Rafael supposed that was fair. Sonny Carisi was a lot of things, but unobservant wasn’t one of them. 

“You’d really do this? Spend three days in a house with my college friends pretending to be my...my…”

“Significant other?” Rafael supplied since Carisi seemed to be struggling. The detective only nodded. Rafael shrugged, like it was no big deal even though his heart was thumping wildly in his chest. “Sure, why not?” 

* * *

This was completely idiotic, Rafael thought as he stood on the sidewalk in front of his building the following Thursday afternoon, waiting on Carisi to pick him up. Besides a few dumb things he’d done as a kid—more Eddie and Alex’s influence than anything—he’d never been one to act impulsively or recklessly. Until now, apparently. 

He still wasn’t sure what had come over him. Well, actually he was, but he didn’t want to think about it. Was playing house for the weekend really the best way to deal with the—he wouldn’t say crush, he was a grown ass man— _ thing _ he had for Carisi?

It wasn’t. It definitely wasn’t, but it was too late now, he thought as Carisi pulled up along the curb, rolling the passenger window of the SVU down, a smile on his face. “Ready?” 

Was he? Rafael wondered. But picked up his bag and threw it in the back seat of the car nonetheless. 

“I seriously can’t thank you enough for doing this,” Sonny said for approximately the fiftieth time, and they were only one hour into their three and a half hour trip. At this rate Rafael was going to bail out before they hit the two hour mark. 

“Yes, well, I maintain that I must have had a series of mini strokes at the time I agreed to it, but it seems that I’m committed now.” And while it was meant as a joke, there was a part of Rafael that thought that it had to be true. Otherwise, why would he do this to himself?

But just one glance over to the driver’s seat told him exactly why. Wheat colored hair gone mostly gray, deep dimples, and beautiful blue eyes, which, at the time, had been distressed and desperate. That was all it had taken to give up his long weekend, foregoing much needed rest and some long overdue reading in order to pretend to be the boyfriend of one of his colleagues. 

Yes, he should definitely book an appointment with a neurologist when he returned to the city, he decided. 

“Well, aneurysm or no,” Sonny glanced over at him, referring to the previous excuse he’d used. “I’m still really grateful. I do have to tell you though…” 

Rafael didn’t like the sound of this. “What?”

“Well,” Sonny suddenly become hyper focused on the road. “My friends, they know I’m bisexual, but they’ve never...You see, I’ve never.” 

“Been with a man?”

“What? No.” Sonny’s head whipped around to look at Barba, and the car veered to the right as Sonny’s hands moved in the same direction. Rafael couldn’t help but hope Carisi had gotten the full coverage insurance on the rental car. Sonny corrected the car’s course before he spoke again. “I mean, yes, I have been with men before, I just...I haven’t—”

“Introduced one to your friends?” Rafael guessed again and this time he could tell he was right by the pink that appeared on Sonny’s pale cheeks. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve never dated any guys long enough for it to be a thing, and everyone is really great and totally accepting, I just wanted you to be prepared in case they make any comments. It’s all in fun. They just like to pick on me.” He looked over at Rafael again, this time with a smirk on his face. “Something you all have in common.” 

“Probably the only thing,” Rafael murmured, looking out the window. It always fascinated him how fast the city gave way to trees and fields, and this far out they could practically be in middle America for all of the greenery. 

“Nah, you all like me.” Sonny grinned over at him, smoothly flipping on the blinker and changing lanes to go around a slow moving Toyota. “That’s somethin’.” 

Rafael rolled his eyes. “Hardly.”

“Aw, come on, Barba. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“Speaking of which,” Rafael said, ignoring Carisi’s implications that he harbored any sort of affection for him. “We should probably get our backstory straight.”

“Right,” Sonny nodded, and suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable. Rafael couldn’t blame him. This entire situation was completely absurd. He had half a mind to tell Carisi to turn the car around, but something in him made him forge ahead. 

“So, I guess the basics. When did we start dating?” 

“Um, a few months ago?” Carisi sounded unsure. “Long enough that it makes sense that you’d be coming on this trip with me, but a short enough time that makes it plausible that we don’t know everything about each other.” 

Rafael mulled it over. “That makes sense.”

“The real question is:  _ how _ did we get together?” Carisi looked over at him expectantly.

He pretended to think, acting like it wasn’t something that he’d imagined dozens of times. “Does that really matter?” 

“Yeah...it probably will. I mean…” 

“Spit it out, Carisi.” 

“Well, it’s just that, you’ve come up before. In conversation, you know—”

Rafael felt something weird in his chest. “You talk about me with your friends?” The something weird turned to something warm when he saw the pink return to Carisi’s cheeks. 

“Just, you know, like when you were helping me prepare for the Bar and stuff. They know that you were a big help to me. And all I’m saying is that they’ll probably be interested to know how you went from like, a mentor to my, uh, boyfriend.” His blush deepened and Rafael found himself thinking that if Carisi was going to turn red every five minutes, this whole charade might be worth it after all. 

“Okay, fine.” Again, he pretended to think on it. “We were doing witness prep in my office one night, we had a couple drinks. You kissed me.” 

“Wait,  _ I _ kissed you?” 

Rafael nodded. “Of course. You have a tendency to eschew professionalism whereas I do not. Even if I had an attraction to you, I wouldn’t act on it because it would compromise our working relationship.” He did his best not to indicate how close that actually was to the truth. Forget his friends, Rafael was going to have to spend this entire weekend putting on a show for Carisi himself. 

“But once I kissed you, all that was out the window?” Sonny asked, skeptical. “I’m just that irresistible?”

“Something like that,” Rafael muttered, and then, “Might want to look at the road,” when Sonny stared at him for longer than was necessarily safe. 

“Right.” He turned again to face the road ahead, but glanced back over at him after a few minutes of nothing but the radio playing softly in the background—jazz only because Rafael had demanded control of the radio, claiming he deserved it for the giant favor he was bestowing upon Carisi. Sonny found that he couldn’t disagree. “What else?” 

“Well, besides the fact that you’re a walking Italian cliche who has a propensity for the law and has apparently finally found a decent tailor, I don’t know much about you. Not even dumb first date stuff—favorite color, favorite movie, star sign…” Rafael trailed off and Carisi huffed a small laugh at that. 

“Blue—navy to be exact—My Cousin Vinny, and I’m a Pisces,” he finished with a grin. 

Rafael scoffed. “You would love My Cousin Vinny.” 

“What?” Sonny put on mock offense. “It’s a classic!” 

“If you completely obliterate the definition of the word classic, then sure.” Rafael waved a hand like he was conceding the point. 

Sonny shook his head. “Unbelievable. Anyway, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“You know, favorite color, favorite movie, star sign.” Sonny lifted one hand from the wheel to tick each one off with a finger as he spoke. 

“Oh, um, purple, Casablanca, and Scorpio? I think. I’ve never really paid much attention to that stuff.” 

“Casablanca, huh?” Sonny mused. “Never pegged you for the romantic type.” 

“Yeah, well…” Rafael trailed off, but then softly said, “It was my abuelita’s favorite movie. We watched it together a lot when I was a kid.” 

Sonny looked over at him, surprise on his face and whether it was shock at the fact that Rafael had shared something personal with him or that he could actually be sentimental, Rafael couldn’t tell. 

“That’s really nice,” he said finally. “And for what it’s worth, my nonna  _ loves _ My Cousin Vinny.” Rafael huffed a short laugh and a pleased smile crossed Sonny’s face. “Mets, Giants, Islanders,” he rattled off next and was met with a blank stare from Rafael. “My favorite sports teams. They’re all prone to let me down.” 

“Tosca, La Traviata, and La Boheme,” Rafael said in response and it was Sonny’s turn to fix him with a blank look. “My favorite operas. The heroine dies in the end.” 

Sonny chuckled. “Now that’s more like what I expected.” 

Rafael couldn’t help but feel slightly offended. Did he really project such a dour persona? He didn’t have time to dwell on it though because Carisi was already lobbing another question his way. 

“So…” Carisi seemed hesitant. “When was your last relationship?”

Rafael looked over at him, eyebrow raised. “Is that really going to come up?”

“With my nosey friends? Probably.”

He was trying to decide whether or not to answer when an exit sign caught his eye, much to his relief. “Yes, coffee. Thank God. Pull off here.” 

Sonny didn’t point out that it was an obvious evasion of his question, and simply did as he was told.


	2. Chapter 2

They were the last to arrive, so there was a whirlwind of introductions, paired with not-so-well-hidden surprised expressions that told Rafael that Carisi hadn’t informed his friends that he’d be bringing someone along, especially a male someone. 

“We left you the third floor bedroom,” Sonny’s friend Mike pointed toward the ceiling of the kitchen where they all stood, drinks already in hand. “It’s only got a full bed. Sorry. We thought you’d be…” 

“That’s fine.” Sonny cleared his throat. “We’ll go get settled.” 

“Sure. We got the grill going. Dinner in thirty,” Mike said. “Hope you’re a meat eater, Rafael.” 

“Obviously he is,” Another of Sonny’s friends, Logan, said pointedly. 

“Will you shut the hell up?” Mike’s wife, Andrea, swatted at Logan, who dodged it deftly. 

“Jesus Christ,” Sonny muttered, already heading for the stairs. Rafael had no choice, but to ignore them all and follow.

“Sorry about Logan,” Sonny tossed over his shoulder as they climbed the stairs. “He thinks he’s funny.”

Rafael just shrugged, the Armani duffle bag on his shoulder shifting, but then his eyebrows shot up when Sonny opened the door at the end of the second floor hallway, revealing the narrow set of stairs that led to the third floor. 

“I didn’t know mountain climbing was going to be involved in this trip.” 

Sonny chuckled. “Native New Yorker and you can’t handle a third floor walk up?”

Rafael merely huffed and followed him up the stairs, doing his best to ignore how well the detective’s jeans hugged his backside. Somewhere along the way, Carisi had learned how to dress himself properly, and it had only made things worse for Rafael. 

The third floor turned out to be a finished attic, the stairs leading right to the bedroom itself. It was small, but well done, decorated in the stereotypical rustic fashion as the rest of the house. He was pleased to see that it had its own bathroom. 

What he was not pleased about was the bed. If he’d been staying in a hotel that described this particular bed as a full, he’d be calling the front desk to complain. It looked barely larger than a twin. 

Sonny dropped his bag on the colorful quilt and caught Barba eyeing the bed. “Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the floor.” 

Rafael nodded. “Okay. So, what’s the plan?”

Sonny looked confused. “Um, we pretend that we’re dating for the weekend.” 

“No, not that,” Rafael rolled his eyes. “What’s the agenda? The schedule?”

“Um, there isn’t really one. Eating, drinking, swimming, repeat? The only thing that’s actually planned is the big party Saturday night. Some of the people from town who we’ve met over the years come as well as a few friends from the city.”

“So we just...hang out?” He wasn’t sure the last time the only thing on the agenda was relaxation. Not that he would relax all that much, considering that he was pretending to be the boyfriend of a man he was fairly attracted to. 

Sonny couldn’t stop the huff of laughter that escaped him. “Don’t sound so excited. It will be fine, I promise.” He pulled some clothes from his bag. “I’m going to change, you can go downstairs if you want.” 

“No thank you.” The idea of being subjected to Sonny’s friends alone was not at all appealing. “I’ll wait.” 

“Suit yourself.” Sonny disappeared into the bathroom and Rafael sat on the edge of the bed. He gave a little bounce, testing the mattress, and decided it would be sufficient for a couple of nights. 

He then glanced out the window next to the bed. From here he could see the large deck that extended off of the back of the house, then a small expanse of yard that met the lake. There was a dock with a ladder on the side for swimming, and a rowboat sat pulled up onto the shore. 

On the deck, smoke rose from the grill as Jake, the third of Sonny’s friends, tended to the food and the others worked to set up a large picnic table. 

Rafael had always thought that groups of friends like this only existed in movies and television. Surely people didn’t have the time and the energy required to maintain so many close relationships, but here they were, cooking and laughing together. 

The bathroom door opened and Rafael turned from the window, doing all he could to keep his jaw from dropping. Sonny had swapped out his jeans for a pair of light blue linen shorts that hit just above his knee, and the first four buttons of his white short-sleeved shirt were left undone so that it hung open, exposing his chest. 

“Ready?” Sonny asked with a grin, pulling a pair of Ray-Bans from his bag and slipping them on top of his head. 

“Um…” Rafael cleared his throat. “Yeah, I guess so.” 

“Before we go, I got you something to make things a little better for you.” 

“I’m afraid to ask what.” 

Sonny’s grin only deepened as he reached into his bag again, pulling out a bottle of surprisingly mid-priced scotch.

The relief Rafael felt was embarrassing. “God bless you.” 

* * *

At dinner, Rafael was conveniently — or purposefully, for all he knew — sat next to Rachel, Logan’s girlfriend, and the reason for Rafael’s presence this weekend. She was also a lawyer, though her focus was in patents, a class that Rafael had found utterly boring in school, but he was thankful to have a kindred spirit both in profession and in their status as outsiders to the group. 

While the others conversed in a shorthand that had been honed over many years together, she and Rafael chatted, mostly about work, but a little about the weekend and what might be in store. 

“So, Rafael,” Mackenzie, Jake’s wife, leaned back in her chair, eyeing him across the table. 

Rafael had expected the party to move elsewhere once dinner was finished, but they all remained seated as the sun dipped over the lake, and citronella candles that had been lit flickered in the center of the table. 

He returned her look, mentally preparing as he would for a motion hearing. “Yes?”

“We know you work with Sonny, but what’s the deal? How did this,” she waved her hand, indicating the both of them, “happen?”

He was glad that they had prepared for this scenario. “Well, um, we were in my office one night, working on a case, and it got late, and, well, you know, one thing led to another.” 

“Office sex on the very first night? Respect.” Logan tipped his beer bottle toward them in salute. 

“No, no,” Rafael said almost too quickly. “It was nothing like that.” He looked over at Carisi, trying to convey with his eyes that he needed to jump in. 

Luckily Sonny understood. “We just kissed,” he clarified. “But that’s when we figured out that we had feelings for each other. But anyway, enough about me and Barba.”

“We barely got anything,” Andrea complained at the same time Jake commented, “You call him Barba?” 

“Yeah, well,” Sonny stalled as he fought to come up with an explanation. “He was Barba first, you know, for years. Rafael is new.” 

“Aw, how cute.” Mike sipped from his beer. “And you guys are still allowed to work together?”

It was something Rafael had thought about on multiple occasions. Each time he found himself wondering if maybe it was worth a shot to see if there was anything actually between the two of them it always came back around to their work. 

It would be a conflict of interest for him to prosecute cases that Carisi worked on, so where would that leave them? One of them switching specialties just so that could test out a relationship that would more than likely fail anyway?

And that’s why he’d settled for admiring the detective from afar, allowing himself to appreciate the dimples and the blue eyes, but never acting on it. You know, besides pretending to be his boyfriend for the weekend. Something he realized was insane and more than likely a mistake. 

“Um, well, people at work don’t really—I mean, we haven’t…”

“We thought it best to make sure this was something worthwhile before disclosing at work,” Rafael jumped in. 

“And is it? Worthwhile?” Mackenzie asked, somewhat dreamily, as if she found the idea of their clandestine romance utterly romantic. 

“Yes.” Rafael looked over at Sonny, something wistful in his expression. “I think it might be.” 

* * *

That night, while Sonny was taking his turn in the bathroom, Rafael paced back and forth in their room. 

He’d had the notion—the hope, really—that coming on this trip would get Carisi out of his system. That spending so much time in close quarters would cause him to be annoyed beyond repair, that Sonny’s friends would all be grating and obnoxious, and he’d come back from this weekend no longer even the slightest bit attracted to the detective. 

But so far that wasn’t the case. Sure, it was only the first night, but Rafael had found that he was actually enjoying himself. The house was beautiful despite its age, the food was great, the scotch Carisi had procured him wasn’t half bad, and surprisingly, all of his friends were really nice and not at all awful to talk to. And Carisi, well, Carisi was even more attractive in casual wear. He was funny and clever and stood toe to toe with all of his friends in battles of wit. 

In other words, this plan was not at all going how Rafael had hoped. And he still had two and a half more days. 

Resigning himself to his fate, he stopped pacing and pulled back the quilt on the bed, flopping onto the mattress with a sigh. 

This time when the bathroom door opened, steam followed Sonny out, and Rafael nearly choked on his tongue. 

“Uh, what?” Sonny self consciously ran fingers through his wet hair. 

“Um, nothing. I just, I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Sonny lightly touched the square black frames. “Have since I was a kid. But I wear contacts during the day. Obviously.” 

“Right.” 

They stared at each other for a minute before Sonny went to work making himself a bed on the floor, using a couple of spare blankets and pillows from the closet. 

Rafael tried to concentrate on his phone. No one knew he was here — not even Carmen, who only knew he was upstate, but nothing else — so he had to try to keep up with emails so that everything seemed normal. 

But everything was not normal. A freshly showered Detective Carisi was not five feet away from him, completely oblivious to the fact the the thin strip of skin that peeked out from between his gray t-shirt and plaid pajama pants as he folded and fluffed blankets was absolute torture. 

Rafael stifled a groan. It was going to be a long weekend. 

“Mind if I get the light?” 

“Please,” Rafael responded a little too quickly. The dark was good. He couldn’t see pale, smooth skin in the dark. 

There was shuffling as Sonny got comfortable in his makeshift bed, but then his voice came through the dark. “Thanks again, for doing this.” 

“You’re welcome. Your friends aren’t all that bad,” he said and found himself meaning it. “Did I shock you into silence?” he asked when Sonny didn’t say anything back. 

“Yeah, kinda.” Sonny laughed. “Good night, Barba.” 

Rafael clicked off his phone and placed it on the nightstand before rolling over onto his side. “Good night, Carisi.” 


	3. Chapter 3

Rafael got up early the next morning, mostly out of habit, but also to try to be the first to shower. He didn’t trust the hot water tank in this old house to handle eight people, and despite the fact that he should probably take a cold shower after all of his ogling of Carisi the day before, he refused to do so. 

He dressed for the day in as close to vacation wear as he owned, khakis and a polo, and, when he was done fixing his hair into place, Carisi was still asleep, snoring softly on the floor. 

Rafael hesitated. It would be weird to just sit here and wait on Carisi to wake up, and he really wanted coffee. Besides, he was almost fifty years old. He could go downstairs and make small talk with people he’d only met yesterday. He did it all the time. Just because he didn’t like to do it, didn’t mean that he  _ couldn’t _ . 

So he made his way downstairs — careful to be quiet in the second floor hallway in case others were still sleeping — and into the kitchen. 

“Another early riser, I see.” 

Rafael started, looking over to see Jake and Mackenzie, sitting at a table that was tucked in next to a bay window. 

“Force of habit,” Rafael explained. 

“Same here. Mac and I are both teachers, so there’s never any sleeping in.” 

“We made some eggs, and there’s plenty if you’d like some,” Mackenzie offered. 

“I’m okay, but I’d love some coffee.” He looked desperately at their steaming mugs. 

“Oh, just behind you on the counter.” 

Rafael turned and his face fell. “Oh, it’s a Keurig.” 

“Yeah, they switched to that a couple years ago. More convenient for their renters, I guess.” 

Rafael spun through the carousel of pods, trying to find something that wouldn’t be completely disgusting. He finally settled on a medium roast in a brand he’d never even heard of and hoped for the best. 

There was a bit of an awkward silence, the only sound in the room the Keurig gurgling away as it brewed, and Rafael grasped for something to fill it. “So, you’re both teachers, is that how you met?” 

“Sort of,” Mackenzie nodded. “We were both in the same program at St. John’s.” 

“So you’ve all been friends since college?” Rafael was somewhat amazed. He knew already that Mike and Andrea were actually high school friends of Sonny’s who also went to St. John’s, and had been dating since their junior year. It was all very small town.

“Pretty much. The only new additions are Rachel, and well, you.” Mackenzie said with a smile. 

Rafael felt something like guilt bubble up within him. He didn’t know what he’d expected, really, with Sonny’s group of friends, but they were all kind and welcoming, albeit a bit nosey. And now that they seemed to consider him to be a part of their group after having known him less than twenty-four hours, he felt a little bit bad about deceiving them. 

“Mornin’.” 

Sonny walked into the kitchen, and somehow managed to look even more attractive with his hair flopped over his forehead and his face still a bit squished from sleep. Rafael was only glad that he was playing the part of someone in love with this man because he was free to look at him appreciatively without consequence. 

He didn’t want to overdo it though, so he reached for the mug of coffee as the Keurig sputtered one last time. 

“Sorry. Didn’t know it was a Keurig,” Sonny said sympathetically, moving to the refrigerator to pull out a carton of half and half. 

Rafael was somewhat surprised that Carisi knew of his aversion to the machines, but then remembered that he’d been present the day he’d discovered that they’d put them in the conference room at the DA’s office. 

“Am I missing something with the Keurig? Was the inventor of a Keurig a serial killer or something?” Jake asked, rising from the table to put his and Mackenzie’s plates in the sink. 

“No, uh…” Sonny thought for a minute, taking the half and half container back from Rafael and putting it away. “Rafael is just...he really cares about the environment.” 

Rafael wondered what the hell was he talking about, but Sonny just gave him a look that said it was the best he could come up with. He guessed he didn’t want to offend his friends, but it’s not like they had purchased the machine. 

“They really aren’t eco friendly,” Mackenzie agreed gamely. “I think it’s good that you care. I’ve been trying to do better myself. Metal straws and what not.” 

Rafael wasn’t entirely sure what a metal straw had to do with anything, but he nodded just the same. 

“Anyway,” Jake segued. “I was about to take a dip. Anyone want to join?” 

“I’m in. Just let me get some coffee in me first.” Sonny turned.. “Ba-Rafael?”

Rafael looked down at his khakis. He hadn’t brought a swimsuit. He didn’t even own a swimsuit. He wasn’t exactly the strip down with a bunch of strangers and splash around in freezing cold water type. “I don’t...I mean, that is I—”

“Don’t worry,” Mackenzie bailed him out and he was once again grateful for her kindness. “You can’t get me in that freezing lake either, but there are a couple of hammocks with our names on them.” 

“Perfect,” Rafael agreed with relief. 

“We’ll meet you out there,” Sonny told the couple and they headed for the sliding glass door that led out to the back deck. “You good?” 

Rafael nodded, taking his first sip of coffee. He was so desperate for the caffeine that it wasn’t even all that bad. “You don’t have to babysit me.”

“I know, I just—”

“You just?”

“Nothing.” Sonny moved to the counter to brew his own cup of coffee, giving the task more concentration than it needed. 

“Okay…” Rafael found himself curious as to what Carisi had been planning to say, but was too proud to try to get it out of him. “Well, enjoy your swim.” 

* * *

At the current moment, stretched out in a hammock, Rafael had no regrets about coming on this trip. The trees shaded the hot sun and a nice breeze blew in off of the lake, and he was finally getting to read a book that had sat unopened on his nightstand for months. He was glad he’d thought to bring it. 

Mackenzie relaxed in a second hammock nearby. They were close enough to talk if they wanted, but she seemed content to read her own book and enjoy the silence. She was quickly becoming his favorite. 

All of the others, a couple at a time, had joined Jake and Sonny in the lake. They’d fashioned a plastic basketball hoop to the side of the dock and seemed to be playing a game with rules they’d made up over the years. Rafael didn’t know a lot about basketball, but “If you shoot from the buoy and make it, your team gets the ball back,” didn’t sound like an official rule. 

“Hey.”

Rafael’s eyes sprung open and he realized he must have dozed off. Carisi stood next to the hammock, barefoot and wearing nothing but his blue, Hawaiin-patterned swim trunks. Water ran from his hair, down the side of his face and neck, and over a surprisingly well-defined chest. Rafael was thankful for the aviators he wore because his eyes were free to follow the trail of water to its conclusion. 

“Your game over?” 

“Yeah,” Sonny scoffed. “Logan is refusing to abide by the overtime rule of 2012.” 

“Pity.” 

“He’s just a sore loser.” Sonny shoved his hair off of his forehead to try to stop the lake water from running into his eyes. “Anyway, I have to go into town to run an errand. Do you want to come with me? Abe’s has pretty good coffee.” 

“You should have led with that,” Rafael said, already swinging his legs over the side of the hammock. He tried to stand, but the hammock swung backwards, pulling him back down. 

“Here, I got ya.” Sonny held out a hand and Rafael took it, allowing him to pull him up to standing. Their hands lingered for a moment after he was upright, but Rafael pulled away.

“Thanks.” 

“No worries. I’m gonna run inside and throw on a shirt and then we can go, okay? I’ll meet you by the driveway.” 

“Sure,” Rafael agreed, although he wished he’d forgo the shirt. 

Rafael was leaning against their rental car when Sonny came out of the house, his hair was still damp but pushed back from his forehead. He’d added a navy blue t-shirt and sneakers, but had kept the swim trunks which still dripped water down his legs, not that Rafael had noticed. 

“We’re not taking the car,” Carisi told him, slipping on his sunglasses. 

“What?” 

“I figured we’d walk. It’s only about ten minutes or so.”

“Walk?” 

“For a—”

Rafael held up a hand. “If the words ‘native New Yorker’ come out of your mouth, I’m going home.” 

“Fine.” Sonny chuckled and held up his hands, but he made no move toward the car. 

“Fine,” Rafael echoed, but his was much less congenial. “I am apparently all about the environment after all.” 

“Sorry, I just thought it sounded better than coffee snob,” Sonny tossed out with a grin. 

Rafael chose to be the bigger person and not respond. 

There was no sidewalk, not even a path, so they walked along the edge of the road. 

“I’ll be so mad if I die out in the middle of nowhere having been run over by a pick up truck,” Rafael complained not thirty seconds in. “If I don’t die from a heat stroke first.” In the shade, next to the lake, the heat had been bearable, but now, with the sun bouncing off the asphalt, he felt like he was melting. 

“Like three cars come down this road a day,” Sonny smirked. “Besides, I’m on the inside, so I’ll be the one who bites it.” 

“My hero,” Rafael tossed at him sarcastically. 

“I continue to serve and protect, even off duty.” 

“Wow,” Rafael laughed. “It’s no wonder you needed me on this trip with lines like that.” 

“Damn, don’t hold back,” Sonny complained, but there was humor in it. 

“Why  _ are _ you alone?” Rafael asked before he could stop himself. “I mean you’re chatty, but some people like that, you have a good job, and you’re, you know.” 

Sonny stayed silent, waiting for him to elaborate, and Rafael huffed. “You’re really going to make me say it?”

“Say what?” 

“That you’re attractive,” Rafael muttered. 

“You think I’m attractive?”

“In a completely objective, hey that’s not a hideous looking human, way.” 

“Oh, be still my heart,” Sonny chuckled. “The flattery!” 

“Nevermind. Now I know why you’re alone.” 

“It’s just, who has the time, you know?” Sonny said, finally getting around to answering the initial question. “The job, it takes so much. Not just time, but energy. I mean, you get it. I’m sure your relationship status isn’t for lack of appeal.” 

“You think I’m appealing?” It was said in a way that made it clear that he was making fun of Sonny, but his heart thumped a little faster at the thought that maybe Sonny found him attractive too. 

“In a completely objective, hey that’s not a hideous looking human, way,” Sonny threw back with a smirk. 

“I suppose I deserve that,” he conceded.

They made it into town and it was nicer than Rafael had expected. Quaint in a way that showed that they played up the small town feel for the tourists. 

Sonny led him to a storefront with a sign out front that read “Abe’s General Store.” Once inside, he could see it was one of those catchalls. Part convenience store, part pharmacy, part department store. Like a bodega, but with a lot more space and a lot less grime. 

“Coffee is over there,” Sonny pointed toward a row of machines against the wall, where a coffee and hot chocolate dispenser sat next to one churning colorful icees. “If you want to grab a cup. I’ll meet you at the register.” 

Rafael eyed the dispenser warily, unsure of how this coffee would be any better than what they had at the house, but he’d only had the one cup so far today and he needed the jolt. He found the biggest cup available, filling it, and stirring in cream. 

By the time he was finished, Sonny was back at his side. 

“That’s what we came here for?” 

Sonny smiled, holding up a box that held a new coffee pot in one hand and a bag of ground coffee in the other. “Yes, for you. You’re doing me a big favor by being here, I can at least provide you with real coffee.” 

Rafael looked closer at the box. It was a simple, black Mr. Coffee machine that had probably sat on these shelves for half a decade, but it would get the job done. 

“Nothing fancy, but I got the most expensive coffee they had, so hopefully it will be good.” 

He was struck by how thoughtful the gesture was, but told himself not to read anything into it. Carisi was just a nice guy in general. 

“Thanks. It should suffice,” he said cooly. 

Sonny chuckled. “Well I’m glad. Need anything else?” When Rafael shook his head, Sonny led the way to the register. 

“Sonny Carisi!” the older gentleman behind the counter bellowed. “I didn’t know you were back in town. The whole gang here?”

“Yeah, they’re all back at the house. We just had an emergency coffee run.” 

“I see that,” the man laughed, putting the coffee pot in a bag. “You all together?”

This caught Sonny off guard. “Well...yeah, I mean, we’re you know…” 

“I think he means are we purchasing these together,” Rafael clarified in a low voice. 

“Oh!” Sonny laughed at himself. “Yes, I’ll pay for his coffee too. And I’m being so rude. Rafael this is Abe, he owns the store. And Abe this is Rafael. It’s his first time up here.” 

“Welcome, Rafael,” Abe handed Sonny his receipt. “Tell the others to make sure they come by and see me before your trip is over. I got in some of that wine that Andrea likes.”

“I’ll tell ‘em. Thanks, Abe.”

“You didn’t have to buy that stuff,” Rafael told him as they stepped back out into the heat. “I could have gotten it.” Even the soaring temperatures couldn’t stop him from taking the first sip of his coffee. Carisi hadn’t been lying. It was good. 

“It’s fine. Besides I—” Sonny stopped mid sentence and put his hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “Listen.” 

“What am I listening for?”

“Ice cream truck!” Sonny said excitedly, pointing toward the end of the street where a few children placed orders at the window of a mint green truck. Rafael could hear it now, the tinkling sound of the truck’s music. A siren’s song to children. And also apparently Sonny Carisi. 

“How old are you?” Rafael asked, but Sonny was already headed down the sidewalk, so he followed. 

When they reached the truck, Sonny studied the menu, easy to do since he towered over the kids in front of him. “Oh man, a rocket pop. I haven’t had one of those in years. Definitely getting that.” 

So he did, ordering one when it was their turn. “What do you want?” he asked Rafael.

“Oh nothing, I’m fine.” 

“C’mon, my treat.” 

Rafael thought about the hot walk back to the house as sweat trickled down his back. Maybe something cold would be nice. “Fine, I’ll have vanilla.” 

“Vanilla what?”

“Ice cream,” Rafael answered like it was obvious, taking a large gulp from his coffee, knowing soon that he’d have to free up his hands and not willing to let any go to waste. 

“And one vanilla ice cream,” Sonny ordered, like it was the strangest thing in the world, and he looked surprised when the man handed him a small plastic cup with a cardboard lid and a wooden spoon. 

“They actually had vanilla ice cream,” he said incredulously after he paid. “Who knew?”

“It’s an ice cream truck.” Rafael took a moment to finish off his coffee then tossed the cup in a nearby trashcan before pulling the cardboard lid off of the cup of ice cream and trashing it as well. Sonny pulled the wrapper off of his rocket pop and did the same. 

“I know but like, you go to the ice cream man for drumsticks, and dilly bars, and...and rocket pops,” he waved his in the air as proof, “not plain vanilla ice cream.” 

Rafael wasn’t even going to ask what a dilly bar was. “Apparently some people do or they wouldn’t carry it.” 

Sonny only made a noise of agreement since he had the popsicle in his mouth. He made an obscene slurping sound as he pulled it back out, trying his best to catch the droplets that had already melted and were running down the sides. 

He’d come to the conclusion long ago that life was entirely unfair, but having to watch Sonny Carisi practically fellate a popsicle, completely unaware of how obscene a show he was putting on, almost the entire walk home, only continued to prove it. 

By the time they got back to the house he was wishing he had packed a bathing suit after all. He could really use a cold dip in the lake. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Power-Bottom-Barba for his contributions to this chapter! You'll know what they are ;)

“So then, Sonny thinks it’s a great idea to sneak into the school to try to change his test answers before Mr. Garowlsky grades them.” Mike leaned back in his chair, sipping from his beer bottle.

“And I’m sure that was successful,” Rafael commented, more wrapped up in stories from Carisi’s high school days than he cared to admit. They’d finished eating dinner out on the back deck, but still all sat around the large table, drinking and talking.

“Didn’t even make it in the door. School was locked, of course, and Mr. I’ve Seen Every Episode of MacGyver tried to use a paperclip to pick the lock and failed supremely.”

“So you became a cop because you were so bad at being a criminal?” Rafael asked playfully. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Sonny said over the laughter of everyone else at the table. “I think it’s time to close down memory lane.”

“Aw, come on, Sonny. We haven’t even gotten to the one where you threw up all over Jessica Lincoln at that party freshman year,” Logan supplied. 

“Fine,” Sonny agreed. “But then we’re gonna talk about the time three summers ago when you got so drunk that you pissed on the sofa.” 

“Wait, the sofa I sat on earlier?” Rafael grimaced. 

“That’s a lie!” Logan protested. “And I paid to replace that sofa.” 

“Alright.” Andrea stood, starting to clear some of the dishes. “Let’s calm down before things get violent.” 

Rafael jumped up and started helping her clear the table. “Let me do that. It’s the least I can do since I have no culinary skills to contribute.” 

“Good thing Sonny is such a good cook then,” Mackenzie smiled. “Although I hope you never let him near a grill. That black mark on the deck over there is from the Great Fire of 2014.”

“Why do these people continue to let you rent their house?” Rafael was baffled. He’d never let any of these people loose in his home, but he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have Carisi cook for him. 

“Hey, we’re not that bad.” Sonny also got up to help clear the table. His hand bumped Rafael’s and he pulled it back quickly. “Uh, sorry.” 

“Are you sure you guys are more than just coworkers?” Jake asked. “My mechanic and I are more affectionate toward one another.”

“Well, to be fair, you and your mechanic are in love.” Andrea turned to face Rafael and Sonny. “But he has a point.” 

“Oh, you know,” Sonny ran his hand over the back of his neck. “It’s just habit from work. We try to keep it professional.” 

Rafael, wanting no part of this conversation, carried his stack of dishes into the house. He’d just placed them on the counter when Sonny came in behind him, carrying a couple of the serving bowls.. 

“Sorry about that. They have no tact. So,” he sat the bowls on the counter and turned to Rafael. “I’ll wash and you dry?”

Instead, Rafael stepped forward, placed his hands on either side of Sonny’s face and kissed him. Carisi froze, completely caught off guard, but after a moment he softened against him, tilting his head in an effort to get closer. 

It was just as wonderful as Rafael had imagined it to be all those times across the conference table in the squad room, when he’d been focused on Carisi’s pink lips instead of the case they were working on. 

He wanted to get lost in it, to press Sonny against the counter to see where this could go, but it wasn’t real. So he stepped back, just enough so that there was a bit of space between them. 

“Um,” Sonny panted. “What was that about?” 

Rafael tilted his head subtly toward the window. “They were watching. I thought I’d throw off their suspicions.” 

Sonny looked out the window, and all of his friends quickly turned away, pretending to be deep in conversation. “They’re not obvious.” 

“I hope that was okay.” Rafael was nervous now, uncertain. “I just didn’t want to blow your cover.” 

“It was more than okay,” Sonny said quickly, then cleared his throat. “Um, I mean, yeah, good thinking. Thank you.”

“Sure,” Rafael shrugged like it was no big deal. “Okay, you wash and I’ll dry.” 

* * *

He shouldn’t have kissed Carisi. Hours later, stretched across the bed, still in his clothes from the day, Rafael was mentally kicking himself. The biggest reason being that now that he knew what it was like, he only wanted to do it again. 

He just had to make it to Sunday afternoon. Carisi would drop him off at home and then Monday they’d go back to how it was before. He could do this. 

Sonny came out of the bathroom, this time wearing only his pajama pants and Rafael wanted to bang his head against the wall. 

He couldn’t do this. 

“Hey, um, this is kind of embarrassing, but,” he spun in a little circle and Rafael could see the large patches of dark red skin on Sonny’s back where he’d apparently missed with the sunscreen that day. “Do you think you could put some aloe on my back? This hurts like a bitch.” 

Rafael wanted to turn him down, but he had no reason not to that didn’t make him look like a pathetic lunatic. “Sure. Uh, I guess, um…” he gestured to the small bit of open bed next to him. 

Sonny pulled the bottle of lotion from his bag and handed it to him before stretching out next to Rafael on the bed, pillowing his head on his folded arms.

“You came prepared,” Rafael said as he squeezed some of the lotion onto his hand. “Although I imagine someone with your complexion sunburns quite often.” 

“Sorry that all of us don’t just turn golden in the sun.”

Rafael rubbed the lotion in his hands and then paused for a moment, taking a breath before placing his palms on Sonny’s back. He jerked his hands away when Carisi hissed through his teeth. “Sorry, did that hurt?”

“No, just cold. Go ahead.” 

This time, Rafael’s hands stayed on Sonny’s back. Lightly rubbing lotion over smooth warm skin. He simultaneously cursed himself for ever having gotten into this position and wished he could stay in it forever. The sunburned skin soaked up the aloe greedily and Rafael added another generous dollop, rubbing it between his palms to prevent it being quite so cold.

This time, rather than hissing, Sonny made a soft grunt of appreciation that caused something in Rafael’s brain to short-circuit, and begin the whole process again. He lost track of how much time was passing.

Even once the red skin was thoroughly tended, his traitorous hands stayed on Sonny’s skin, smoothing lotion down onto his still-pale lower back, long fingers splaying over his lean sides as he kneaded his thumbs in slow circles where they just grazed the waistband of his pajama pants.

Sonny groaned, a clear sound of pleasure, stretching, and Rafael followed his movement, his hands sliding up along his sides, over skin so smooth and warm to the touch that he was lost in it.

“Barba,” Sonny breathed, and while it didn’t sound at all like an admonishment, he still froze as though he’d been caught in the middle of a crime.

“So…” Sonny started, but paused. “That kiss earlier.” 

“I told you, your friends were watching.”

“Okay.” It sounded disbelieving. 

Rafael couldn’t blame him. His hands still on Sonny’s sides firmly put the lie to his words. The same desire that had fogged his mind gave him the courage to ask. “Did you want it to be something else?”

Sonny rolled onto his side to face him. 

“What do you think?”

He could have misread the softness in his voice or the look in his eyes, but what was revealed by the drape of his pants couldn’t be misconstrued. 

Apparently, Rafael couldn’t keep his cool for one day, let alone the whole weekend.

He leaned down and kissed Sonny, like a question, until Sonny answered it by carding his fingers through Rafael’s hair, tilting his head to kiss him soundly. The way Rafael had wanted to kiss him in the kitchen before. Sonny’s hand shifted, cupping Rafael’s jaw as he deepened the kiss, licking into his mouth. 

He let Sonny pull him close, turning with them until Sonny rolled fully onto his back and broke the kiss with a hiss of pain. Rafael jerked back, startled and instantly apologetic.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-” 

“No, no,” Sonny was up off his back, laughing. “The sunburn.”

Rafael laughed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“I don’t know, but I like it.” Sonny put his hand on Rafael’s thigh, warm and heavy. “I want to kiss you again. I - do you, um -”

“Yes,” he interjected, cutting Sonny off. “Yes.”

It was Sonny who moved this time to close the space between them. It struck Rafael that Sonny kissed the same way he did everything else - enthusiastically, and with surprising skill. It was better than he had imagined in all his frequent, intrusive fantasies. He gripped Sonny’s arms, touched his face, ran his fingers through his hair and cupped the back of his neck. He finally was allowed to touch him, and didn’t want to waste a moment.

Soon he was the one on his back with Sonny leaning over him, licking into his mouth and grinding against the thigh Rafael had slotted between his legs. He rocked his hips up and Sonny groaned, breaking the kiss.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Sonny’s voice was pitched low, and Rafael couldn't stop looking at his lips, swollen and kiss bruised. “I didn’t think, I mean, when you said you’d come up here, I wasn’t planning-”

“Stop,” he cut him off, kissing him briefly and sitting up just enough to grab the hem of his own shirt and pull it off over his head, tossing it aside. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Yeah.” Sonny’s eyes raked over him and he nodded, licking his lips. “Yeah, me either.”

They kissed again, slow and hungry, and Rafael revelled in the feeling of Sonny’s skin against his own, the heat of him, the scrape of his sparse chest hair. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of Sonny’s pajamas and hesitated, but Sonny quickly put his hand over Rafael’s and helped him push his pants and boxer briefs down over his narrow hips. He wriggled out of them and kicked them away with impressive dexterity, finally pulling back only to tug experimentally at Rafael’s pants and look at him for permission. Rafael gave it by lifting his hips from the bed, and Sonny stripped him eagerly.

“Jesus,” Sonny whispered, his eyes fixed to what he had revealed, and Rafael grinned, pleased to have driven him to blasphemy. He flexed his hips upward and Sonny groaned, bending low with a kiss turned desperate as he took Rafael in hand.

Rafael moaned into his mouth, and in only a few strokes was rolling his hips forward, thrusting shallowly into Sonny’s fist. 

He gripped Sonny’s hip and drew him closer against him. Sonny obliged at once by swinging his leg over Rafael’s and straddling his thighs. He broke the kiss to sit up, looking down at Rafael. His pink lips were parted and complimented by a flush that went almost down to his stomach. Rafael thought he was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

No matter what happened tomorrow, he knew that tonight was worth it. Was right.

He reached between them and wrapped his hand around Sonny’s, moving it so both their hands were locked together around them both. Their stroke was slick from their mounting pleasure, and the thought of it mingling between their pricks and laced fingers made him groan.

“Barba,” Sonny moaned, and bent to kiss him again even as he rolled his hips, sliding them against one another in the tight circle of their fists. As he thrust against him, it was Rafael who guided their hands up and down, squeezing them just tight enough that Sonny could still fuck against him.

When Sonny’s hips began to stutter, Rafael sped the movement of their hands, chasing Sonny’s climax until, with a cry muffled by Rafael’s mouth, he spilled through his fingers. Sonny’s free hand gripped tightly to Rafael’s shoulder and he kissed him. Fiercely at first, and then languidly, and it was something about that soft wet kiss combined with the way Sonny’s pleasure slicked his stroke that pushed Rafael over the edge. 

He gasped ‘Carisi’ as he came.

Carisi collapsed onto the mattress, somewhere between on his back and on his side, his legs still tangled up with Rafael’s, breathing heavily. “Wow.” 

“Indeed,” Rafael said while he waited on his heart rate to drop somewhere back into the normal range. After a moment, he knew he had to move. “I’m just going to, um—” He gestured toward his stomach where the mix of their come was beginning to dry on his skin. 

Sonny’s cheeks, which had begun to go back to their normal shade, flushed again. “Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.” He pulled his leg from atop Rafael’s and the second he was freed he hurried into the bathroom, closing the door solidly behind him. 

Once in the shower, the water cooler than he’d normally have it, but necessary in this case, Rafael let his forehead rest against the tile. 

He and Carisi had just had sex. He, Rafael Barba, had Detective Sonny Carisi’s come on his abdomen. He didn’t do things like this. He didn’t have sex with coworkers. Hell, he didn’t have sex at all lately, but definitely not with someone he had to see at work practically every day. 

Rafael groaned in frustration and pushed off of the wall, grabbing his body wash and lathering it up, finally washing away any evidence of what he and Carisi had just done. 

As soapy water swirled the drain, he recalled how good it had felt. How right. It had surpassed all he’d ever imagined it to be. And Carisi had seemed just as into as he had been. 

Isn’t this what he’d been wanting? All those months of longing for Carisi like some schoolboy with a crush. Wasn’t this the outcome that he’d hoped for?

Besides, they were on vacation. It didn’t have to mean anything. If they were teenagers it could be thought of as a summer romance. Only in this case they were adults and their “romance” consisted of screwing a couple of times in a rented lake house full of other people. 

He decided that for once in his life, he’d try to just go with the flow. He would enjoy the rest of the weekend with Carisi and worry about the rest later. What happened on vacation, stayed on vacation, right?

The water ran even colder and Rafael decided he’d better get out before Carisi thought he died or something, realizing too late that in his haste to get out of the room, he hadn’t grabbed any clothes. 

Towel around his waist, he slowly pulled open the bathroom door, silently hoping that Carisi would be asleep and that he could start to go with the flow tomorrow, but he had no such luck. 

The detective had pulled his pajama pants back on and sat at the edge of the bed. His eyes shot first to the towel, then Rafael’s chest, and then finally his face. Thankfully, though, he didn’t mention it. 

“I didn’t know if, um, I mean, did you want me to—” He gestured to his makeshift bed on the floor. 

“Oh, um,” Rafael hesitated. It would be kind of mean to make him sleep on the floor now. “You can sleep on the bed. I mean, if you want to,” he added quickly. 

He didn’t wait to see what Carisi decided, grabbing some underwear and some sweatpants out of his bag and heading back into the bathroom. He was pretty sure the modesty was undue at this point, given that fact that he’d been sprawled out naked under the other man just a bit ago, but he felt more comfortable getting dressed out of sight. 

This time, when he walked back into the room, Carisi was under the quilt, propped up on a couple of pillows, scrolling through his phone. 

The ease and utter domesticity of it hit Rafael in the gut. It was a sight he never imagined he’d get to see. 

He turned off the main light in the room, leaving only the bedside lamp aglow, casting Carisi in even more flattering lighting. He tried not to look at him as he climbed into bed beside him, afraid that his face would betray how he was feeling. 

As Rafael got settled, Carisi put his phone on the nightstand, looking over at him through the thick, black frames that Rafael still wasn’t used to. “So.”

“So?” he returned. 

"Um, good shower?” Carisi asked and they both laughed, breaking the tension. “This is crazy, huh?”

That was one way of putting it. “Undoubtedly.” 

“But also pretty great. At least I think so.” Carisi looked hopeful. 

Rafael couldn’t disagree. “Definitely.” 

The relief Carisi felt was obvious as he visibly relaxed. “Great,” he said again, placing his glasses on the nightstand and shifting down so that he was more comfortable, rolling on his side to face Rafael. He hesitated a moment before scooting forward just a bit, placing a light kiss on Rafael’s lips. “Night, Barba.” 

“Good night, Carisi,” Rafael responded softly, flicking off the lamp and watching as the other man drifted off to sleep. 

He stayed that way for a while, taking in the soft lines of Carisi’s face, how he snuggled into his pillow, breathing deeply in sleep. Rafael felt himself smile just a bit. Even if this all blew up in his face tomorrow, at least he’d have tonight. 


	5. Chapter 5

Rafael woke slowly, the sun streaming in through the curtains much brighter than it had been when he’d gotten up the day before. It took a few moments, but eventually the weight of an arm draped across his torso registered in his brain and that’s when he remembered the previous night. 

Carisi. Naked Carisi. 

His face warmed at the memory, and he glanced over at the detective who was still sleeping soundly, pressed up against him. 

They hadn’t been that way when they’d first gone to sleep. Carisi must have snuggled up against him unconsciously. Rafael couldn’t find it in him to be upset about it. 

Either disturbed by Rafael’s small movements, or just sensing that the other man was now awake, Carisi shifted, his eyes opening, shining bright blue in the sunlight. 

Sonny smiled up at him, but then seemed to realize the position they were in and he pulled away, embarrassed. “Oh, um, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Rafael assured him. 

Back against the headboard, Sonny scrubbed a hand over his face and then reached for his glasses. “So that really did happen, huh? I thought it was a dream.”

“Not a nightmare?” Rafael wasn’t above fishing.

“Definitely not.” 

He felt ridiculous at the thrill that surged through him just knowing that Carisi didn’t regret what happened between them. 

Rafael had been afraid that in the light of day he might have felt differently than he had the night before, but for now would take him at his word that he felt the same as Rafael did.

They were last to join the group for breakfast that morning, but thankfully someone had put the new Mr. Coffee to use and there was still enough left in the pot for Rafael to get his fix. 

Coffee in hand, and a plate full of eggs for Sonny, they settled in with the others at the table by the window. 

It was strange, Rafael knew there were six other people at the table, but somehow they all dropped away and there was only Carisi, head bent toward him, talking to him in a low voice. 

Rafael wasn’t sure of exactly what he was saying because he was too busy focusing on blue eyes and pink lips. Lips that had so expertly moved against his the night before and of which he only hoped he could get to experience more.

“Yo, Carisi!” A balled up napkin bounced of Sonny’s chest and landed in his untouched eggs. He’d been too focused on Rafael to eat. 

“What?” 

“I’ve been talking to you for five minutes.” Mike, the one who’d apparently fired the napkin, responded. 

“Oh, sorry. What did you say?”

“Didn’t you two get enough of each other last night?” Jake asked before Mike could answer.

“What?” Sonny asked again, this time in stereo with Rafael. 

“Your room is above ours,” Mackenzie said carefully, almost as an apology. 

“Ooh!” Logan chimed in. “Bow chicka bow wow.” 

“Oh, God.” A blush bloomed at Sonny’s cheeks and worked its way down his neck. Rafael would have found it endearing if he hadn’t been too busy being mortified. 

“That’s why we always give you the attic room,” Mike explained. “It’s never been an issue before.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sonny said adamantly as Rafael pretended to find his coffee to be the most interesting thing in the world. 

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?” Logan laughed. 

“Yep.” Sonny squared his shoulders, having made a decision. “Sure am. Now, if you’ll excuse us. We have plans.” 

“We do?” Rafael looked up at him and Sonny urged him on with his eyes. “Right, we do.” He let Carisi take his hand and pull him away from the table. 

“Be back by four for party set up,” Mike called after them. “If you two can manage to pull yourselves apart long enough to help.” 

The second they were outside on the deck, Sonny turned to Rafael. “Oh my God. I am so sorry, Barba. I had no idea that they could hear. I didn’t even think we made that much noise. Stupid old house. I swear to God—“

“It’s okay,” Rafael interrupted and found that he meant it. They were two consenting adults, why should they be embarrassed?

“It is?” Rafael nodded. “Even so, I’m sorry that they brought it up. They can be really immature sometimes.” 

“They’re middle-aged straight men, immaturity is a given.” It wasn’t like him to be so forgiving, but he’d had a non self-provided orgasm for the first time in over a year so he was feeling forgiving. “Now, I’m told we have plans?” 

“Oh, right!” Carisi perked up. “Like I was saying in there, there’s this really cool little cove just around that crop of trees.” He pointed toward where the tree line jutted out into the lake off to the left. “I thought maybe you’d wanna see it?” 

“We aren’t walking are we?” 

He laughed. “No, we’ll take the rowboat.” 

Rafael eyed the small wooden boat that he’d spotted the first night. It didn’t necessarily look seaworthy. “That might be worse. Are you sure we won’t capsize?”

“Yes, and even if we do, I’ll save you, I promise.” His eyes twinkled and Rafael found that he’d follow him anywhere, even if it meant his demise. Which this almost certainly would. 

* * *

Carisi kept his promise and got them around the trees and to the small inlet without dumping them into the lake. Once they made it to shore, Sonny helped Rafael out of the boat and then pulled it far enough up onto the sand so that it wouldn’t float away and leave them stranded. 

Although, this maybe wouldn’t be such a bad place to be marooned. The little patch of sand that served as the beach was surrounded by trees on three sides and the lake on the other. Between the shade the trees provided and the breeze off of the lake, the temperature here was nowhere near the sweltering heat they’d left back at the house. 

It was such a great spot that he couldn’t believe they were the only ones there. He said as much to Carisi. 

“Well, technically, it’s private property.” 

“What?”

“Well, if you follow that little path up through the woods there’s another house there and this is their land, but don’t worry,” Carisi added quickly. “They’re only here like one or two weeks a summer, so they probably aren’t home.” 

“Probably?” 

“Aw, come on. You’ve never done a little trespassing?” Sonny pulled a blanket from the boat and spread it out over the sand. 

“Aren’t you a police office?” 

“Not right now, I’m not.” He stretched out on the blanket, hands behind his head. When Rafael stayed standing where he was, he looked up at him over the rim of his sunglasses. “Oh, come on, it’s barely a misdemeanor..” 

Rafael huffed, then sat next to Carisi on the blanket. 

“There, not so hard.” Sonny reached out and pulled him down so that he was practically on top of him. “Hi,” he said before placing a light kiss on Rafael’s lips. 

“I don’t think your friends can see us from here. We don’t need to put on a show.” 

“That wasn’t for them,” Sonny said, holding him in place. “And neither is this.” He pulled him in for another kiss, this one deeper.

Rafael wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way, lips mingling and hands roaming. Even when they had to pull apart to breathe, Carisi stayed close, ghosting kisses over his jawline and neck. 

But then all at once, he pulled back. “I have an idea. Let’s go swimming.” 

“Um, we’ve been over this,” Rafael gestured toward his khakis. 

“I don’t have my suit either,” Carisi said as if that fixed things.

“Yes, but you can easily swim in your shorts.” 

“Not quite what I had in mind.” He raised his eyebrows and Rafael shook his head. 

“No, no, absolutely not. Now you want to add public nudity to the list of charges?” 

“There’s no one around.” Carisi stood and held out his hand. “Come on, live a little.” 

“This is ridiculous,” Rafael grumbled even as he let Sonny pull him to standing. 

“No, it’s fun.” Sonny pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it into the sand before losing his shorts and underwear. 

He looked even more beautiful than he had the night before, with the sunlight bouncing off of his skin, his golden hair blowing loosely in the breeze with no product to hold it in place. 

“Fine, but go in the water and turn your back.” 

“I saw everything last night, you know?”

“Do you want me to do this or not?” 

At that Carisi jogged to the shoreline, running out until the water was deep enough to dive into. When he surfaced he shook the water from his hair, but did as Rafael had asked and faced away from the beach. 

Rafael took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. But that seemed to be the theme of the weekend, so why not?

He undressed quickly, leaving his clothes on the blanket next to Sonny’s and hurried into the water, worried that someone would see him. 

“Jesus Christ!” He blasphemed when the cold water hit his body. “Fuck! Oh my God. Fuck!” 

“Wow, that’s quite a mouth you got there, Counselor.” Carisi laughed and turned around, figuring it was safe. 

Rafael was still a bit away from him, having only made it into the water up to his waist so far. 

“It’s easier if you just dive in and get it over with.” 

Rafael stared down at the water, wondering if this was really all worth it, but then he looked up and saw Carisi standing there, water just below his chest, waiting on him, and he took a deep breath before diving under the water. 

He managed to surface near Carisi, but the water was higher on him which made him a bit unstable when a small wave rolled past them just as he was getting his footing on the sandy bottom. 

“I gotcha.” Sonny put his hands on his upper arms to help keep him steady. 

“I didn’t realize there were waves on lakes.” 

“Sometimes,” Sonny shrugged. “But I’m pretty sure that was wake from a boat.”

“There are boats out here?” Rafael suddenly felt panicked.

“Well, yeah, it’s a lake.” 

“What if they see us?”

“Then we look like two guys swimming? They can’t tell we’re naked.”

“But what about when we have to get out?” Rafael didn’t know why he was being so paranoid. He just was not the exhibitionist type and his anxiety was already heightened. 

“We’ll wait until there aren’t any boats. And, if one goes by,” Sonny said, anticipating his next question. “I guess they’ll see your ass. But, really, they should feel honored because it’s a great ass.” 

“You think you can distract me with flattery.” 

“Flattery isn’t really what I’d planned on distracting you with.” Carisi dipped his head, capturing Rafael’s lips with his and suddenly all of the anxiety Rafael had been feeling melted away. 

It was standing here in the water, pressed up against Sonny, their tongues intertwining, kissing until they were both breathless, their hands exploring in a way they hadn’t had time to do in their haste the night before, that Rafael had the thought that maybe this was more than a weekend fling. 

He didn’t know how after getting to experience this, he could just go back to how things were. And it seemed as if Carisi was on board. The entire day he’d taken the lead, touching and kissing Rafael every chance he could. Was it possible that he wanted more as well?

Rafael’s heart, already thudding in his chest, seemed to speed up even more at the thought. 

His hands gripped at Sonny’s hips under the water and pulled him even closer, eliciting a moan from the other man, who then pulled back, just far enough so that he could speak. 

“I don’t suppose you’d be up for a blow job on the beach?” 

“I think we’ve racked up enough misdemeanors for one afternoon, don’t you?” 

“Okay, fine,” Carisi chuckled. “But you’re missing out. I’ve been told I’m pretty great at it.” 

Rafael only hoped he’d get the chance to find out for himself. 

* * *

The sun had shifted in the sky and their skin was pruned by the time they finally left the water. 

Once back in the rowboat, Rafael leaned back, watching Sonny’s toned arms work the oars. As nervous as he’d been about the boat in the beginning, he had to admit that it was pretty relaxing just kicking back, enjoying the water and the view. 

At least until his stomach growled interrupting their companionable silence. 

“I guess it is about lunchtime,” Sonny said on a small laugh. “There’s a little diner in town if you’d like to go? I told Mike I’d pick up the booze and stuff for the party that he ordered from Abe so I have to make the trip anyway.” 

“Sure,” Rafael agreed without hesitation. 

It was turning out to be one of the best days he’d had in a long time. Lunch with Sonny had been comfortable, full of easy conversation, laughter, and a few stolen kisses. 

Afterward, once they returned to the house, they’d taken up residence in one of the hammocks, Rafael reading and Sonny dozing against him as they swayed in the breeze. 

Glancing down from his book at the wheat colored hair laced with gray that splayed on his chest, Rafael couldn’t help but wonder if this was all too easy. Yesterday, they’d been nothing but coworkers—coworkers who were pretending to be dating, but coworkers nonetheless—and now here they were, cuddling, for lack of a better word, in a hammock like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

As much as he was enjoying it, as much as he wanted it to continue, he couldn’t help but wonder when the other shoe was going to drop. 

Sonny shifted, breathing deeply, then settled against him once again. Rafael decided when this blew up—and it would blow up, of that he was certain—he would worry about it then. For now, he put down his book, draped his arm around Sonny, and closed his eyes. 

* * *

The party was in full swing and Rafael did his best to work through the thick crush of bodies. When Sonny said that a “few friends” from the city came in for the party, he imagined cocktails and conversation with a small group, not this wannabe frat party. 

Speaking of Sonny, he'd long ago lost the detective, sent on a quest for more ice, never to be heard from again, leaving Rafael to fend for himself. 

The house was loud and hot, the air conditioning no match for the crowd and the open doors that allowed the guests to spill outside. He hadn’t attended these kinds of parties when he’d been in the acceptable age bracket, he certainly didn’t prefer them now that he was well into his forties. 

Not to mention that he’d had conversations with no less than three men who told him some variation of, “You’re Sonny’s boyfriend, huh? I mean, we messed around in college, but I didn’t think it would stick for him, you know? Good for you guys.” 

It was all a little much and he needed some air. 

Fighting his way to the door, he froze when he heard Jake loudly exclaim, “Gina!” 

Gina? As in Sonny’s sister Gina? He hadn’t told Rafael that any of his family would be coming to the party. Putting on a ruse for his friends was one thing, but lying to his family? And even though they were...whatever it was they were now, it’s not like they’d actually been dating for months as they claimed. 

“Where’s my brother?” Gina asked once she and Jake had exchanged greetings. 

“Haven’t seen him in awhile. Probably off somewhere making out with Rafael if it’s anything like the rest of the day,” Jake took a gulp of beer. 

“Rafael?” Confusion creased Gina’s forehead and Rafael did his best to blend into the crowd so that she didn’t see him. 

“Yeah. His boyfriend.” Jake said it like it was obvious. 

“Wait,” she held up a hand. “Rafael  _ Barba _ ?” Off of Jake’s nod she laughed. “Yeah, right. Sonny would never date that old tight ass. All Sonny does is bitch about him. What’s going on? Are you messing with me?”

Rafael had heard enough. This time he didn’t bother being polite as he forced his way through the crowd and out into the night air. 


	6. Chapter 6

The back deck was also fairly crowded so Rafael made his way down to the lawn where only a few groups of people stood chatting. He wasn’t sure what to do now. 

All he wanted was to be back in the city, in his own apartment where he could hear sirens and car horns instead of crickets and other nightlife that was so loud it could be heard over the music coming from inside the house. 

But he’d been drinking, and even if he hadn’t, what would he do? Steal a car that he didn’t even know how to drive? 

Walking into town would be useless, even if he wanted to brave it. Nothing would be open at this time of night and there wasn’t a train station. He was stuck. 

Looking around, he spotted the dock, which was shockingly devoid of party goers. Apparently no one was drunk enough yet to decide that night swimming was a good idea. 

He walked down through the yard and across the wooden planks to the very end before sitting down. Luckily, the dock was high enough that his shoes didn’t dip in the water. Ruining his shoes would be all he needed to make this night a complete disaster. 

What the hell had he been thinking? Gina was right, there was no way Carisi would ever be with someone like him. Older, grumpier, much too set in his ways, Rafael didn’t necessarily make it easy for someone to enter his life, much less Sonny Carisi, who was bright and enthusiastic, and much too smart to tie himself to someone not at all worthy of him.

Rafael wasn’t sure how long he’d been out there, wallowing in self pity, when he felt someone walking on the dock. He looked over his shoulder to see Carisi, looking fantastic in a dark pair of jeans and a white short-sleeved button up with an anchor pattern. It was the first time all weekend he’d fixed his hair up into the same style he wore for work, and Rafael found himself missing the way his hair had flopped over his forehead the last few days. 

“There you are!” Sonny exclaimed once he got closer. “I was lookin’ all over for you.” 

“Well, you found me,” Rafael said as Sonny sat down beside him, his toes did graze the water, but he didn’t seem bothered by getting his sneakers wet. 

“What’re you doing out here all by yourself?”

“It just got a little...claustrophobic in there.” 

“I get that.” Sonny agreed readily, sipping from the beer bottle he’d brought with him. Even in his distress, Rafael couldn’t help but appreciate the way his lips ghosted over the rim of the bottle, the long column of his neck working as he swallowed. He felt something akin to grief knowing that he’d never again place his lips on that neck. 

“You didn’t tell me your sister was coming,” he said after a moment. 

“What? Which sister?”

“Gina.” 

“What? She said she couldn’t come. None of them were supposed to come.” Sonny’s brow furrowed. “Did you have a run in with her? Was she mean?” 

Rafael shook his head. “I managed to avoid her. I overheard her saying something interesting though.” 

“Oh, Christ.” Sonny drained his beer bottle in preparation for whatever it was that was coming. 

“No, it wasn’t  _ bad _ , just...true. And something I should have realized sooner.” Carisi just looked at him confused, so he continued. “She said that you’d never date me because I’m an old tight ass.” He left out the part where she’d said that all Carisi did was bitch about him. If that was true, he didn’t want to know. 

“I’m going to kill her,” Sonny grumbled, but then looked worried. “But you believe that?” 

“Yes, because it’s true.” Rafael gave a shrug. “Would this have ever happened if we hadn’t come on this trip? There’s a reason we never fell into bed back in New York. You and I don’t make sense. And that’s  _ fine _ . We’ll just call this what it was, a moment of temporary insanity brought on by close proximity and too much sun and relaxation.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“Excuse me?”

“I said,” Sonny enunciated. “That’s bullshit.” 

“No wonder you never actually took up practicing law if that’s how you argue,” Rafael scoffed.

“Want to know why nothing ever happened between us back home?” 

This should be good, Rafael thought, but gestured for Carisi to continue. 

“Because until two days ago, when you kissed me in the kitchen, and then felt me up while you were putting lotion on my back—”

“I did not feel you up.” 

“ —I didn’t think I had a chance in hell with you,” he finished, ignoring Rafael’s interjection. “Do you really not realize that I’ve wanted you since the day I laid eyes on you? I did everything I could to impress you: studied harder, changed my hair, got nicer clothes, lost the mustache…” he trailed off playfully, but then turned serious again. 

“But none of it worked. You still didn’t notice me, at least not the way I wanted you to, so of course I didn’t make a move. I couldn’t risk it. Having you as a coworker and a...a friend, was better than not having you at all. 

“And then this trip happened and last night happened, and holy shit, Barba, it’s everything I’ve been wanting all this time and if you think that we shouldn’t be together then I—”

He was cut off by Rafael’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close and kissing him furiously. 

“So,” Sonny breathed heavily when they eventually pulled apart. “Does this mean you’re in?” 

Rafael nodded, no hesitation. “I’m in.” 

“So when we get back to the city, we can give this a shot?” 

“Yes,” Rafael agreed. 

“Like, I can call you and text you and take you on dates and stuff and then possibly get naked with you again? Because honestly that was the best and—”

Rafael cut him off with another kiss, laughing softly against his lips. “Take yes for an answer, Carisi.” 

“Sonny,” he corrected.

“Sonny.” It was said almost as an exhale, which was appropriate because Rafael didn’t think he’d ever truly breathed until now. 

“Rafael.” Sonny said with a smile, running a hand over his cheek. He kissed him one more time before sliding his arm to where it rested on his shoulders. “Just think, next year, when we come on this trip, nothing will be a lie.”

“Oh, you think we’ll be together in a year, do you?”

“I know we will.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I love you.” It fell out of his mouth so casually, but it held all the weight in the world. 

Rafael was about to say it back—it was true and had been for quite some time, even if he’d been unwilling to admit it to himself— when a large thumping sound came from the end of the dock. Logan was running down the planks, full steam ahead, and Rafael and Sonny pulled apart just in time for him to jump between them and into the water with a raucous “Woo!” 

He was followed by several other p

Party goers, all yelling and splashing so loud that the moment was over. Rafael would just have to tell Sonny that he loved him later. He had plenty of time. 

* * *

Their car trip home the next day was much different than that of just a few days prior. Instead of pretending to get to know one another with superficial questions, they actually talked about various things, some serious, some not so much, but there was never a lull. 

There was also some hand holding and a lot of Rafael resting his hand on Sonny’s thigh as he drove. Last night, as most of the others splashed around in the lake, the two of them had gone up to their room. 

It wasn’t as hurried or as desperate as the first time. They’d moved slowly, taking their time to explore one another. If Rafael had such notions, he might have called it romantic. 

“I talked to Gina this morning,” Sonny said once they were back on the road after a quick stop for gas and some snacks. 

“Do I want to know?” Rafael asked, opening up the bag of trailmix he’d purchased at the gas station, hoping he didn’t get food poisoning. 

“I just told her that we’re together, and you’re great, and she can get on board or not, but at the very least she can keep her mouth shut.” 

“Are you sure that was a good idea? I mean, this whole thing is so new, and it’s already affecting your relationship with your family.”

“Will you stop trying to find a way out of this?” Sonny said, mostly teasing. “It’s happening. Besides, telling each other to shut it is basically how Carisis say I love you.” 

“Wonderful,” Rafael said dryly. “Something to look forward to.” 

“Yeah?” Sonny looked over at him hopefully. 

“First of all, sarcasm. Second of all, I suppose,” he said like it took great effort. “If we’re really doing this, than multiple Carisi gatherings are in my future.” 

“Not  _ that _ many really, just all of our birthdays, and Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh and the Feast of San Gennaro, but you’ll like that one, it’s all food, and it’s in the city so no trip out to Staten Island.” 

“Good Lord, what have I gotten myself into?” Rafael muttered, looking out the window as Sonny continued to rattle off special occasions, but his words were softened by the smile that pulled at his lips. 

He couldn’t wait to find out.


End file.
